For those who know me well, I usually don’t struggle to find words. If I don’t have an answer or response I usually have a question. But lately, I have not had words. I’ve been slow to write what is supposed to be a biweekly blog. But when you don’t have anything meaningful to say, then I have found it’s usually better to hold the silence.

I’m really wrestling with the outbreak of violence that has been happening across our globe the past couple of months. The frequency has increased. The reasons and locations are varied. Many of them have happened in one of two places: schools and houses of worship. Two places that we have taken for granted should be safe. I am heartbroken to say that even this past Sunday, one of the microphones during worship made a very loud crackle sound and for a second I looked around to make sure no one was panicking about a possible gun shot because it reminded me of that sound. That thought entered my head and then made my heart and stomach sick.

I looked online to remind myself of all of the shootings in the past year. I was surprised at how many I had already forgotten. There’s a list at the end of this blog. I don’t offer it to be depressing or to be making some divisive political statement. I offer this as a reminder that we are called to be peacemakers and we live in a world far from peace. I offer this as an invitation to remember. To remember the families that still grieve their unexpected losses. I offer this as an invitation to pray for those who are so broken themselves that they believe the best thing for them to do is to enact violence on others. Because we Christians have a message of love and peace. Jesus said “Blessed are the Peacemakers”. (Matthew 5:9) Can we step into the gap somehow, and remind a person that help can come in a different way than acting on their anger or pain or illness or whatever the reason that might cause someone to pull a trigger on another person. Lord have mercy.

My Lament:

Hear the cries of mothers whose children did not come home from school.

See the tears of husbands whose wives did not come home from worship.

The grief is so painful we have almost become numb.

Help us not to forget even though the next head line takes over.

Blessed are the Peacemakers.

Confusion and chaos breaking out.

Why Oh God? Why would you let this happen?

Over and over again.

Why Oh God? Must one community after another be heartbroken?

Blessed are the Peacemakers.

Help us God to help ourselves.

This is no righteous anger. No justice is being fought for by these bullets.

This is no easily explained violence. No purpose other than pain is being wrought.

Help us God to help ourselves.

Blessed are the Peacemakers.

Jesus, we look to your teaching and example.

“Show us the way!”, we cry.

If we turn down the volume enough, we hear it. Listen hard.

The soft weeping of our Lord, calling each victim my name.

So please look over this list if only to offer a prayer today for the families this list represents. To soften your heart so that we don’t become numbed to a new norm of public shootings as being expected. And to remind us that Lamentations is an appropriate way to pray when it hurts badly. There’s a whole book in the Bible of nothing but Lamentations!

And then we trust that healing comes, peace comes, joy will always return in one form or another like a weed trying to force its way out of a crack in the cement. But until that time, Lord hear our prayers.

22 cited incidents of public shootings sinceFebruary 2018. 161 lives lost. Over 190 wounded.

May 7, 2019 – Highlands Ranch, CO-STEM School Highlands Ranch – 1 killed, 8 injured

April 30, 2019 – Charlotte, NC – UNCC Campus – 2 killed, 4 wounded

April 27, 2019 – Poway, CA – Synagogue shooting- 1 killed, 3 injured

[April 19, 2019 – Sri Lanka – 258 killed, 500 injured – bombs not shootings – not included in count]

March 15, 2019 – Christchurch, New Zealand – 51 killed, 49 injured

February 15, 2019 – Aurora, IL, Henry Pratt Company plant – 6 killed, 6 injured

January 23, 2019 – Sebring, FL – Bank shooting – 5 killed

November 19, 2018 – Chicago, IL – Mercy Hospital – 4 killed

November 7, 2018 – Thousand Oaks, CA – Bar- student line-dancing event – 13 killed 12+ injured

November 2, 2018 – Tallahassee, FL – Yoga Studio – 3 killed, 5 injured

October 27, 2018 – Pittsburgh, PA – Synagogue shooting -11 killed, 6 injured

October 3, 2018 – Florence, SC – Officer search warrant stand-off – 2 killed, 10 injured

September 20, 2018- Aberdeen, MD – Rite-Aide Distribution Facility – 4 killed, 3 injured

September 6, 2018 – Cincinnati, OH – Fifth Third Center – 4 killed, 2 injured

August 26, 2018 – Jacksonville, FL – Jacksonville Landing Madden NFL 19 competition – 3 killed, 9 injured

June 28, 2018 – Annapolis, MD – Capital Gazette shooting – 5 killed, 2 injured

June 17, 2018 – Trenton, NJ- Art All Night Festival – 1 killed, 22 injured

May 30-June 4, 2018 – Scottsdale, AZ – Scottsdale Spree Shootings – 7 killed

May 18, 2018 – Santa Fe, TX – Santa Fe High School – 10 killed, 14 injured

April 22, 2018 – Nashville, TN – Nashville Waffle House – 4 killed, 2 injured

March 9, 2018 – Yountville, CA – Veterans Home of California – 3 killed including a pregnant woman

February 14, 2018 – Parkland, FL – Stoneman Douglas High School shooting – 17 killed, 17 wounded

Lord, Hear our Prayers,

Lory Beth

Have you heard the story of the Biology Professor from Missouri University that won the Nobel Prize for Chemistry last December and is donating the whole $250,000 prize to form a scholarship fund for students trying to attend the state’s College of Arts and Sciences? Professor George Smith is choosing to pay it forward to help students achieve their education goals while revealing his humility and generosity.

Or what about the story of the police officer in Woodbridge, New Jersey that responded to a 911 call by a boy with autism who reported he needed help finding his teddy bear. Because the boy hung up before the operator could respond, they had to send an officer to the address. Luckily, Officer Khari Manzini had recently had training on dealing with citizens with special needs and was able to determine young Ryan’s needs and helped him find the teddy bear.

“We are reminded that loving others really does matter. And that we probably have more serendipitous opportunities to love others than we realize on a weekly basis.”

And my favorite story I found was about Patricia Murray who was a homeless woman on the streets of Washington, DC and found herself in front of a judge, suffering from drug and alcohol addiction and no place to go and no family to help her. The judge told her she had a problem and then sent her to rehab. When she came out of rehab and into Hannah House, a residential facility for woman in crisis or transition, Patricia had some choices to make. While at the facility she met a nun who connected her to a nursing home facility that hired her for 3 hours a day at $5.25. She framed her first paycheck. She began eating dinner at the home and a resident came and ate with her every night and talked with her. That resident’s encouragement to keep on going led her to a full-time job at the nursing home and a love for the residents that recently earned her the Ceca Foundation Caregiver Award. She said her life was changed because of a judge, a nun and hundreds of nursing home residents.

When the news and current events start to weigh heavy on my spirit, I like to find these inspirational stories of real people living their life in inspirational and Jesus-like ways. We are reminded that loving others really does matter. And that we probably have more serendipitous opportunities to love others than we realize on a weekly basis.

My hope for you and for me is that when we have the chance to interact with others that they can experience the grace and love of Jesus by what we do and say. I know I don’t always accomplish that as well as I hope. But I keep trying. I keep trying to sync up my heart and my intent with my choice of words and tone. And certainly, when someone else treats me with kindness, caring, respect and generosity, I notice. I see Jesus in them.

So as you think on Professor Smith, Officer Manzini and Patricia Murray, may you be filled with hope that the part God created in us humanity is indeed very good and is not tarnished. Like Jesus said at the end of so many of his teachings, “go and do likewise.”

Grace and Peace,

Lory Beth

Well, that is a tall order so let me manage expectations. I want to share as best I can, a basic explanation of what happened and some thoughts regarding the work done.

On Tuesday the called special General Conference of the United Methodist Church ended after 4 days of prayer, vigorous debate, lots of votes, parliamentary procedures and lots of heartbreak around the topic of same gender marriage and ordination of gay and lesbian clergy. No matter your position on this topic, it was hard on everyone. By the end of the day here is some of what happened over the course of the Conference:

1. The Traditional Plan was approved by the body of the Conference by a vote of 438-384 where 412 votes were needed. Clearly not a resounding majority so again, our body shows a lack of consensus on how best to discern God’s will on this.
2. A version of The Traditional Plan passed by a vote of 438-384. A total of 412 votes were needed for passage. Twenty-six votes is not a resounding majority. So again, our body shows a lack of consensus on how best to discern God’s will. The Traditional Plan upholds the current Book of Discipline and more specifically defines the language around homosexuality.
3. An Exit Plan for churches that disagree with the denominational stance on sexuality was also passed. It is only effective through December 2023. The intent is for a church to be able to exit with its property so long as they pay certain apportionment and pension obligations.Currently, there is no defined exit path for a church. Property issues are very tricky in The United Methodist Church because of our Trust Clause that states that all property is held in trust for benefit of the denomination. If a church ceases functioning as a church the property reverts back to the denomination.
4. Another petition that passed rather resoundingly was a plan to protect unfunded clergy pension responsibilities when any clergy or churches choose to leave the denomination.
5. The One Church Plan did not make it out of legislative committee sessions to the plenary floor of Conference. It was 38 votes short of making it on to the floor for a full vote. Again, just making the point of how close all of these votes were.
6. Unfortunately, a great deal of the Traditional Plan and the Exit Plan have already been ruled unconstitutional by our Judicial Council, and the legislation was not amended to address the Judicial Council rulings before it was passed by the General Conference. There was a petition passed requesting all of the petitions adopted be reviewed by our Judicial Council so we are now waiting for their verdict. It will be several weeks before a decision comes down.
7. We don’t know if just some or if all of The Traditional Plan will be deemed unconstitutional. . And if just some, what parts would become law? Based on the prior rulings, it is very possible not much would remain.Which could put us back largely to where we started..
8. It is going to take time for this to settle and for us to truly understand what this actually means for our denomination.

Because of that last point, I personally believe it is critical to wait and see what transpires over the next couple of weeks. While some of the exchanges and speeches on the floor of General Conference were difficult for many to hear for a variety of reasons on both sides of this topic and while it was disappointing to see the bulk of the work of the Commission on the Way Forward fail to receive full discussion and vote by the whole plenary, the dust just hasn’t settled yet.

As I have studied what has happened, read and talked with some of the delegates that were there, and learned from my husband who is the Conference Chancellor for the WNCC and has heard from his fellow Chancellors as they try and make sense of the legal implications of all of this, there are still a great deal of unknowns. I know that there are groups like the Wesley Covenant Association (WCA) that are trying to discern whether they want to remain in the denomination or not. The Western Jurisdiction of the UMC (the west coast essentially of the US) has already declared that while they want to stay in relationships with the global UMC they will remain inclusive as necessary to do mission and ministry to the people in their contexts but want to continue to dialogue about what that means in the United Methodist Church. Who will stay? Who will go? There are a lot of moving parts that I personally, want to wait and see where they land before being able to make sense of the implications of the votes this week.

While there is much I do not yet know or understand, I do know this. Boone UMC is still a church community that will gather on Sunday to worship and serve and glorify God and help others do that as well. We are a church that will continue to live into our mission to love our community and invite all to discover life in Christ. We will do our best to continue to live into our vision to become transformed disciples who live for the transformation of hearts, the Church, our community and the world. No vote at General Conference changes that for us.

The other thing I do know is that God is not done with this process in our denomination. God loves the Church too much and God loves each of us, and God especially loves God’s creation so much that the murk and muck we find ourselves in at the moment is not where we will stay. And I truly believe God will help us figure out a path forward so that all can be cared for one way or another. But friends, I don’t know what that means yet or what that looks like. I just know I have peace in my deepest spirit that we have been brought to a place of action, and those that are way smarter than me will figure out how to make sure everyone is tended to on both sides of this equation. It just may look different than it looks now. And it may look differently than what we thought it might have been a week ago. I’m a theologian so I am ok with the gray.

We are both sinfully flawed and beautifully created. We are both forgiven by God and capable of turning away from God in the next breath. We are both amazing witnesses to God’s love in our lives, and yet we make horrible choices that are no example to anyone. We see the Kingdom already arriving, and we see the not yet part of a future Kingdom that feels far away. I’m good with the gray.

I find it interesting that Tuesday morning St. Francis of Assisi’s Prayer was part of my morning devotion. What a beautiful reminder that we live in a world of great contrasts and how God calls us to seek the light and be the light in the midst of the pain and darkness we might be surrounded by. Again, whether you are supportive of the Traditional Plan or supportive of the One Church Plan or neither, people are hurting right now, our denomination is in flux, and seeking peace in the midst of it all, this was a balm to my weary soul. These words might be helpful to you right now as well.

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace:

where there is hatred, let me sow love;

where there is injury, pardon;

where there is doubt, faith;

where there is despair, hope;

where there is darkness, light;

where there is sadness, joy.

O divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek

to be consoled as to console,

to be understood as to understand,

to be loved as to love.

For it is in giving that we receive,

it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,

and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life. Amen.

-Peace Prayer of Saint Francis

Let’s all take a breath. Let’s wait for clarity and understanding. Let’s remember the whole world is watching. Watching what we say, what we do, how we treat one another. Let’s look for God’s signal and next step. And let’s try and be an instrument of peace and people who love God and love neighbor with the core of who we are. The rest will continue to sort itself out. Of that, I am sure.

Lory Beth